Stressful Days

It has been quite a feat for me to start to really control my self induced stress.  Stress really plays a large part in your heart health.  I have found that if I take a step back, most of my stress is truly self induced.  My work ethic and standards are much higher than an average person.  I like perfection.  This really does lead to a lot of unnecessary stress.

Once a month I have a meeting with my boss--our one on one time.  I normally have no filter on my mouth of which he is very aware!  This last Friday capped off a really stressful week and happened to be our day for the one on one.  I managed to keep all of my stress in check and express myself with much less animation.  This was not lost on him--he asked me about it.  I explained that I need to work hard to keep my stress under control and I have found that the filterless, animated me tends to raise my blood pressure.  I am all too aware of this since my heart attack.  Stress scares me and every little pain when I know I am stressed out about sends me over the edge thinking I am having another heart attack.  I worry all the time about another heart attack because I could not be as lucky next time.  I am doing all I can to prevent another one.  I loathe exercise, but I am doing it.  I have gone Vegan and I have now lost 22 lbs since January 1--yay me!  I think that I am fine, but there is always that doubt!

Not that I have lost any of the passion I have for my job.  I just express differently now and really have to pick my battles.  There are many life lessons here I am sure.  It feels good to be able to let go of some of the need to control.

On a much lighter note, this house loves the Rock Chalkin Jayhawks!!  They are off to New Orleans and the Final Four.  It has as well been a practice of not letting my basketball team get me worked up this season.  I pace and try not to watch.  They are headed to New Orleans and we are headed to Vegas to watch them play.  Rock Chalk Jayhawk!  I am taking hummus, veggie crumbles and my crackers that I love with me in my suitcase so that I know I at least have my healthy snacks.  If all else fails, Chipotle for lunch and dinner.  Looking forward to the time with my girlfriends, watching the Jayhawks play and the ACM awards!  Tomorrow is my Friday and I won't be taking a computer with me.  I hope for all of you a fabulous week!